READ SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT DOGS!
THIS IS AN EXCERPT FROM MY HUMOR BOOK, Patricia A. Leslie's Peculiar Wit & Occasional Wisdom.
NEW ‘DESIGNER’ BREEDS OF DOGS
It has become the fashion, of late, to selectively mix two or more “official” (kennel-club recognised) breeds of dog, to create new, “designer” dog breeds. Sometimes the goal is genetic improvement; sometimes, a desire to mix the best aspects of the parent breeds into one “ideal” new breed. I suspect that the main motivation, though, is just to come up with something that sounds new and looks a little different, because human beings love to be the first on their block to have the newest gizmo.
Thus we now see the Peke-a-Poo and the Cocka-Poo (Pekingese or Cocker Spaniel with added Poodle), the Puggle (Pug blended with Beagle), the Labradoodle and the Goldendoodle, mixes, made respectively, of Labrador or Golden Retriever, plus Standard Poodles. I have even heard people speak of the Chiweenie (Chihuahua and Dachshund combined) although personally, I find it hard to credit that anyone, even under great duress, would agree to have a creature in her home which must be described to strangers by that moniker.
In any case, it seems to me that new breed names do not always reflect a new breed’s characteristics. Therefore, I have given the problem some thought, and come up with a number of proposed new designer breeds, with suitable combined names. To further promote the potential popularity of these new breeds, I herewith include thumbnail descriptions of each breed’s most distinctive characteristics or temperament. For easy reference, I am also grouping them according to some of the most popular human lifestyles of our day.
The first lifestyle to consider, is one devoted sports and fitness. I can suggest a few designer dogs suitable for sporty people.
One I can recommend is extremely well-built, although not a terribly bright animal. This is the Affenpinscher + Ridgeback cross, better known as the Affback.
Of course, for those whose focus is on constantly setting new personal goals, it’s hard to go wrong with the Moscow Watchdog + Tibetan Terrier, now popularly known as the Mo’Bet’er.
Another popular breed, due to how fit it stays well into old age, is the Thai Ridgeback + Chihuahua, now named the Thai Chi dog.
No family should forgo the pleasure that a canine companion adds to home life. Here we have a sampling of designer breeds suitable for the average middle-class family.
Always good for family life is a dog of optimistic temperament; so I can heartily recommend a combination of Kerry Blue + Skye Terrier, or the Blue Skyer.
Many families want a dog that is economical to keep; for these folks, I suggest the Bedlington Terrier + Border Collie, known as the Bed’n’Board.
And if you just want a nice little dog, not one that is particularly cool or hip; your ideal choice could be the Dachshund + Yorkie, skilfully blended into a Dorkie.
Another important consideration in a family setting, is a dog that is only bark and no bite; for this quality, you can’t go wrong with a Bulldog + ShihTzu, which results in the very popular BullShihTz.
Another recent lifestyle trend is the “Foodie”. Here I propose some dogs that will sit right with any foodie type human.
Surely when this first breed really catches on, you won’t be able to go a block without seeing one: the Jack Russell Terrier + Boxer mix, a very fast service breed with a lot of drive, fondly known as a Jack’n a Box.
Also very fast, although not particularly healthy, is the perennially popular Maltese + Leonberger, or Maltenberger.
Got a busy schedule? A dog that requires very little regular exercise, and will enthusiastically share your food hobby, is the Poodle + Yorkie, or Porkie.
For a breed with a more retro feeling, and so well-behaved that they can be often found at soda fountains … the very popular Chocolate Lab + Maltese, bred to order as the ChocolateMalt.
On the other hand, this next trendy breed is becoming ever more popular, since is reasonably sweet, but doesn’t fatten up like the Neapolitan Mastiff … a cross of Italian Greyhound + Iceland Sheepdog, better known as the Italian Ice Dog.
Last in this category, those who love both history and dogs, might try this “re-discovered” breed, similar to ones fancied by the Earl of Sandwich for being easy to handle; find a British breeder to get the Sealyham Terrier + Swiss Mountain Dog, or Ham and Swiss.