READ SOMETHING STRANGELY PUNNY!
Way back in my youth, there was, for a while, a fad for "moron jokes". They were just very inane puns about people who had weak understanding and made silly mistakes. ("Why did the m***n rub nitroglycerin into his scalp?" "Because he wanted to grow his hair out in bangs.")
But pretty soon, as the world became more aware of how un-sporting it is to make jokes about special needs that people haven't done anything to deserve, those jokes fell out of favor. Still, many people (including myself) really enjoy the pun as a form of humor. (Many other people loathe puns. Few are neutral.)
Well, when I was writing Peculiar Wit & Occasional Wisdom, I revived these pun-based jokes, in the form of the Terrorist Joke. (Because in my opinion, people who could be fairly intelligent, but are willfully uneducated, are fair game.) I hope everyone who visits this site this month, is a pun-lover. But if not, well, we can't please all the people all the time. Check back next month. It will be something different.
What is the only American TV channel that domestic US terrorists find acceptable?
What was the only British film the Oath Keeper was willing to watch?
Why would a terrorist shaman ever go to a Chinese tea shop?
He wanted to get some gunpowder green.
Why was the Q-anon believer collecting fan magazine photos of Jean Harlow, Marilyn Monroe, and Jayne Mansfield?
He was trying to stockpile bombshells.
Why did the Proud Boys leader write his manifesto on an old manual typewriter?
He read on the Internet that it was the quickest way to make car-bomb copies.
Why did the terrorist Senator want to make the late e.e. cummings the national poet laureate?
She admired his insistence on eliminating the capital.
Why did the terrorist mom and son buy the remake rights to the film Cats?
They heard it was a sure-fire way to make a bomb.
Why did Ted Cruz kidnap a six-foot-tall African bird from the National Zoo?
He wanted to be ready to negotiate an exchange of ostriches.
Why did the ex-POTUS fly to the UK and bring back a handful of British pocket change that he immediately had crafted into a wind chime?
He was eager to see pence hanging.